A Girl's Thoughts

So I was flipping through a journal and found what I wrote in 2003 and thought this girl can write, what happened to her. Check it out...
What do you say to a guy that you have be lusting/loving after for almost a year when he says that the person that he is going to be with is not someone he already knows....Wait, nope not someone I already know.
You are hurt, you cry, and then you being to write. You write your feelings, your anger, your self-hatred and your willingness to keep working at it. You wonder really what he meant. You wonder if faced with the real thing, if he would be so nonchalant about it. You wonder if you wait and ask again later, if his feelings would change.
You call your friend that has been your loyal supporter through this whole thing. She was the first one you called when you discoverd you liked him, the one who you described his everything day actions to, the one that encouraged you to like him, the one that said he is perfect for you and you both would make the cutest couple. She was there for you and she is there for you now.
You tell her everything that went on in the conversation. What he said, what you said, what he said, and what you said. You feel like you are going to cry on the phone and a sniffle escapes you. There is a pause on the phone line, that friend is trying to read you. She realizes what is going on and she is ready with litany of phrases that are supposed to make you feel better, but they just don't . They make you miss him more. But then she hits on to a point that you never thought of. She give you the hope to go on.
She said these words, "He sometimes doesn't know what is out there for him and takes a long time to process things." And you hear, "He STILL might like me." and everything gets better. Life looks up. Then she hangs up the phone and you are again alone...wondering...